I'll See You In My Dreams
by blackbirdxsinging
Summary: It hurt, having to say this. Knowing that she couldn’t hear. Knowing that he would never see her again.Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Sometimes he dreamt of her. Those were always the best dreams."


_I'll see you in my dreams  
And I'll hold you in my dreams  
Someone took you right out of my arms  
Still I feel the thrill of your charms_

"Good morning, Lucy." Jude set the flower by her grave, taking the one from yesterday off the cold dirt. "It's getting cold out, isn't it?"

He stared at the tombstone, sighing. He sat down beside her and stroked the grass, imagining her blonde hair. He zipped his jacket up quickly, feeling the November air spill onto his shirt.

"Max is doing good, you know." He looked up at the sky. "He's got a proper job. Building things. Like a carpenter." He stared back at the words etched in the stone. Her family could afford a nice one… Jude was so grateful, he wouldn't have been able to get her one so elegant.

Yet they never came to visit her, not once. It made his heart ache, a little, the whole situation did. He couldn't stand the fact that she was actually gone. He closed his eyes and lay down on the grass, looking over at the space beside him. Six feet in the ground, his lover lay.

He tried not to think about it like that.

"I love you, Lucy." He whispered, and frightened himself. He usually didn't get to the point where he was lying on the ground. Most of the time he would leave the flower, clean up the grave a bit, say good morning and then leave. Now that Lucy wasn't at home, he had to take up a second job, so he had to get going to work most of the time. But today he forgot about that, and just lay beside her.

Looking up at the clouds in the dark sky made him lonely, all of the sudden. Max was looking at new apartments, closer to work. Sadie was out on tour with Jojo. _Soon,_ he figured,_ I'm going to be all alone._

The wind blew through him again and he shivered, slightly. He wished that she could be there to place an arm on his chest, rest her head there. That's how it was meant to be.

He closed his eyes, still shivering, and let the tears fall from his lashes. He didn't try to stop them, or cover them up. They just fell to the ground, silently, soaking into the earth beneath him. He secretly wished that they would make it down to where Lucy was. He secretly wished that she could know how sad he was.

_Lips that once were mine  
Tender eyes that shine  
They will light my way tonight  
I'll see you in my dreams_

_Oh, someone took you right out of my arms  
Still I feel the thrill of your charms  
_

Feeling slightly ridiculous, he sat up, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. "I love you, Lucy." He traced his fingers over the words on the rock in front of him.

_Lucille Loretta Carrigan_

_Beloved sister, daughter, and friend_

_1944—1969_

"Friend." He read out loud. They refused to put 'wife' down, because they were never legally married. But she was still buried with her ring, as she requested. He looked at his, a gold band. The matching one was with her, in the ground. And pretty soon she was going to fade away, against the world, with the world. Then the wood would start melting away until everything was just dirt, just dirt again. Like she was never there. The only thing left would be that ring, the one with the tiny diamond in the middle. A pathetic little engagement ring, but still it left him in debt. He smiled at this but cried at the same time.

"People keep telling me to move on." He whispers, as if it was a secret. Then he placed a hand on the ground and felt the frost melt beneath it. "I don't want to move on until you can tell me to."

It hurt, having to say this. Knowing that she couldn't hear. Knowing that he would never see her again.

Well, that wasn't exactly true. Sometimes he dreamt of her. Those were always the best dreams. The ones where she pushed his hair back, the ones where she kissed him, held him, made love to him. Loved him. Like no one else could. Like no one else ever would.

And then he woke up. And listened to the sound of his own tears, spilling down his face. He listened to the empty spaces… the ones next to him in his bed, the ones in the kitchen where she made breakfast. The ones on the couch, where she slept as he drew her. All those empty spaces.

He looked up at the sky again, watching the clouds move along. Moving on.

"I love you, Lucy." He whispered, and then stood up and walked away.

_Lips that once were mine  
Tender eyes that shine  
They will light my way tonight  
I'll see you in my dreams_


End file.
